It's no surprise to those of you who know, my son is a complete sports fanatic. Seriously, he'll be 7 yrs old in a week and his choice of reading material is not The Cat and The Dog, it's Kids Sports Illustrated. I have yet to figure out how this classifies as reading at his level,or better yet how to ask his teacher if it counts towards his credits of "at home reading" for school. But these are the cards that God has dealt me, a son who eats, sleeps, and breathes sports. From here on out, I will refer to my son by the name of, Sporty McGee.
This fall Sporty decided he wanted to play football. Woo Hoo...My favorite sport...GRRRRR....Shoulder pads, helmets, pushing, shoving, growling, all over a leathery odd shapped ball, while you sit in the stands screaming like a mad person yelling RUUUUUNNNN or GET HIM GET HIM GET HIM!!! How can you not like the sport? Besides, his level would be 1st and 2nd graders so how intense can it get right? Riiiiiight!!!
Season started out with 5 days a week practice for 2 weeks - First week of nothing but conditioning, running 2 miles through each practice. Second week - begin learning to hit. Oh yeah, did I forget to mention that it is tackle?? Next, they go down to 3 days a week practice and one game on the weekend. Any day that football is not scheduled is the day we try to squeeze in the norm of life. Which, so far, we are very unsuccessful.
I have never, in my 7 years of motherhood, felt so unorganized and behind on life. Hello - Me - Calendar - Plan - Everything!! I feel as though I no longer control our lives, football does! I don't know how this happened, I don't know how I allowed one simple sport to take control. The sad thing is, I feel that by allowing Sporty to participate in a sport he's wanted to play since he was 4, I've ruined him from it for life. He's torn. He loves playing, loves the sport, but the inner battle of a grown sports loving male and a 7 year old boy are taking place inside him. He misses his life, he misses his playtime, his freedom that a kid his age should have. In the same breath, he doesn't want to quit playing. How do you find a happy medium?
I may sound like a typical crazed, protective, mommy here, but am I wrong that it SHOULDN'T be this difficult at his age? That as a parent I should be allowed to yell and scream at some of these coaches they way they are these 1st and 2nd graders? Believe me, I've played this scenario in my head and I have to admit, it's quite entertaining. "Give me a lap...Give me 10 push ups...what's that? You can't pull your overgrown beer belly up off the ground? OOOOH, Ok superstar!." (completely rolling my eyes right now).
I'm at my wits end with the whole thing. The best thing about it all?? Besides getting to see Sporty tackle some butt to the ground?? The great Mom's I've got to know as well as their kids. There's always good to come out of anything bad, irritating, or stressful. In the meantime, Sporty and I are doing a countdown until freedom is ours again....at least until Basketball starts (sigh)
Friday, September 24, 2010
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Are you smarter than 5th grader? Pshhh – apparently I’m not even smarter than my 6 year old.
I never thought there come a day, in my son's young age, where HE would think he’s smarter than I am. I’m beginning to think with all the technology, references and resources just at their fingertips has contributed to this. Remember the days where, if we wanted to know something we had to trample out to the library, in 10ft of snow, no shoes, up hill both ways, just to research using the those things called books?
Seriously, I do love watching my child flourish and learn new things and I love even more when he tells me about it, all excited and wide eyed. What I do not love is when he says things leading to the notion that I’m not on his level of intelligence.
My son started 1st grade the other day. Naturally he’s super excited to be going to school all day, to be packing his lunches, and more importantly…seeing his buddies on the playground. Me, I wanted to make sure all that summer reading and prep work didn’t go to waste. I took out a list of words that he should already know as well as ones I know they’ll be working on the 1st quarter. I call him into the living room, and start asking “what’s this word, what’s that word?” and he starts spouting them off with ease. Finally we move on to the second list, I start the same way….he says a couple words…pauses…looks at me and says “Mom, I really think you should try to figure some of these out yourself.”…and walks out...leaving me with my mouth hanging open.
Anyone who knows my son knows he loves to ask questions. He’s inquisitive, which is just another fancy word for nosey (he takes after his mama). I took the advice of a fellow parent that when my child asks a question, and I don’t know how to answer it, use the “let’s look that up” line. Naturally, after using that line one too many times in my son’s eyes, he casually states, “Glad you didn’t become a teacher Mom, you don’t know anything.” Again…me…mouth hanging open.
Lastly, I feel it’s important it begin teaching your kids at a young age to be a leader not a follower in life. To know what’s right and wrong, and by “following” what your friends do will get YOU in nothing but trouble…be strong, stand up for what you believe in, no matter what. I even used the old line “If your friends jumped off a bridge would you?”…My son raised the corner of his mouth, crooked his eyebrows, and said with PURE annoyance, “What kind of question is that Mom? No one is that stupid. You should say ‘If your friends had ice cream before dinner, would you?’ That’s more real!” Yep…you guess it…me…mouth hanging open. Except this time I said back “Well, would you???” Now shock on his face, followed by defeat. That’s right little boy…Mommy ISN’T so dumb after all is she??
Seriously, I do love watching my child flourish and learn new things and I love even more when he tells me about it, all excited and wide eyed. What I do not love is when he says things leading to the notion that I’m not on his level of intelligence.
My son started 1st grade the other day. Naturally he’s super excited to be going to school all day, to be packing his lunches, and more importantly…seeing his buddies on the playground. Me, I wanted to make sure all that summer reading and prep work didn’t go to waste. I took out a list of words that he should already know as well as ones I know they’ll be working on the 1st quarter. I call him into the living room, and start asking “what’s this word, what’s that word?” and he starts spouting them off with ease. Finally we move on to the second list, I start the same way….he says a couple words…pauses…looks at me and says “Mom, I really think you should try to figure some of these out yourself.”…and walks out...leaving me with my mouth hanging open.
Anyone who knows my son knows he loves to ask questions. He’s inquisitive, which is just another fancy word for nosey (he takes after his mama). I took the advice of a fellow parent that when my child asks a question, and I don’t know how to answer it, use the “let’s look that up” line. Naturally, after using that line one too many times in my son’s eyes, he casually states, “Glad you didn’t become a teacher Mom, you don’t know anything.” Again…me…mouth hanging open.
Lastly, I feel it’s important it begin teaching your kids at a young age to be a leader not a follower in life. To know what’s right and wrong, and by “following” what your friends do will get YOU in nothing but trouble…be strong, stand up for what you believe in, no matter what. I even used the old line “If your friends jumped off a bridge would you?”…My son raised the corner of his mouth, crooked his eyebrows, and said with PURE annoyance, “What kind of question is that Mom? No one is that stupid. You should say ‘If your friends had ice cream before dinner, would you?’ That’s more real!” Yep…you guess it…me…mouth hanging open. Except this time I said back “Well, would you???” Now shock on his face, followed by defeat. That’s right little boy…Mommy ISN’T so dumb after all is she??
Friday, July 23, 2010
Not now honey...Mommy needs her coffee!
I've learned through my 7 years of motherhood that if you thought you were a coffee addict before, you will soon need to admit yourself into some sort of Coffeeholic-anonymous after having kids.
It's no secret, I loves me some coffee!! I'd say my addiction started somewhere my senior year of high school, if not then definitely college. Who knew that ingesting copious amounts of coffee while cramming for exams and pulling all night study sessions would be preparing me for that wonderful thing called Motherhood? Little did I know that those days would eventually look like a trip to the Hershey Chocolate Park compared to what was to come later in life.
There are many many stories regarding me and my...ummm...state of mind (or lack there of) when I don't have my coffee. Seriously, if I could just tap an IV of the stuff each morning believe me, I would!! (you think I'm kidding) For whatever reason (chalk it up to too much coffee), I thought I'd share a few of my embarrassing moments where my close freind coffee was concerned.
Surely there has to be a few more Mom's out there like me (I know my sister 'n law is almost there!)
Tennesse + NASCAR fans + No coffee = OMG TAKE COVER - I'm sure the title alone would make anyone feel that way but for this admitted coffeeaholic, it literally sent signals to my brain that said "note to self - blow tennessee off the map but leave Starbucks standing." Quick version - loooong trip to see a NASCAR race with my sister, nooooo sleep, early wake up time to get to the track, and people driving like they already had their coffee and...oh yeah, I haven't had mine. Absolute required stop to Starbucks is in need, if we could ever freakin' get there. By this time, my knuckles are white from gripping the steering whell, my face is red, and I believe my sister is holding her breath in fear of having her head bit off. Ahhhhh - finally, Starbucks parking lot. OOOOH LOOK - a close parking spot, someone is pulling out. Wait. Why is this idiot sitting half pulled out and half pulled in of the parking spot? (counting to 10 in my head....now laying my hand on the car horn...now pressing on the car horn, not letting up...Sister is now sticking her head out the window yelling at the car to "Please for the love of God pull out, the woman needs her coffee."...Yaaay, that works) Sigh - ahhhh, sweet sweet Starbucks. Tennessee thanks you for saving it.
Broken coffee pot after night of caring for a sick child (oh yeah, my sister trying to talk to me) - We've all been there. Nothing worse than being up all night with you child who has the pukies (my kid is a award winning puker btw.) Nothing worse than seeing your child sick and knowing there isn't much you can do when they're like this. Well, maybe a broken coffee pot after an all-nighter (told you it'd come back up) puking session comes in a close 2nd. As my child begins to get some rest, the sun is coming up and shining straight through my bedroom window ignoring the blinds that are intended to keep it out. What could make ME feel better (besides sleep?)...a nice hot fresh cup of coffee...stumble to kitchen, prepare coffee pot, open coffee can...take a big wiff, a little jump start action ya know?....stand at kitchen counter waiting for coffee to brew....brews two cups and stops...hmmm....turn off and turn back on....in walks my sister...Sister begins chatting about her night at work (she worked 2nd shift)....Sister still talking, coffee not brewing....Grab WHOLE coffee making machine with both hands and begin to shake viciously....Sister has now walked out of the kitchen to her room and shut the door...get myself dressed....check on child (still sleeping)....Open my sister's bedroom door, inform her I'm going to Walmart to buy a new coffee pot...Sister encourages trip with a little too much enthusiasm...go to store, buy new coffee pot, repeat first few steps at home...drink fresh coffee...Ahhhhhh, NOW (to my sister) what were you saying?
Craving for a Caramel Iced Coffee NOT a stinkin' Frappe - Saturday summer morning, heading to Step-Mom's work for some long over due scrapbooking. Sister and nephew are going to pick myself and my son up. I'm having a craving for a caramel iced coffee from McDonald's. Now it's all I can think about...mmmm. Convince sister to drive me through McD's to cure craving. Having experienced my coffee fits in the past she more than graciously agrees. Go through drive-thru...tell sister what I want....she starts it and says "Wait, what?"...repeat to sister, in a more serious tone, what I want....CARAMEL. ICED. COFFEE!...Sister repeats order, so does the person inside the box...pull up to window....person in window hands a FRAPPE'...Sister tells person in window we didn't order a Frappe' we ordered an Iced coffee...person still standing in window holding stupid Frappe'....beginning to get irritated (or need a fix of coffee, you pick one.)...can't take it anymore...lean over sister and say to Dude in window "WHY are you still standing there?"...Dude in window now looks a little scared...Sister is pleading with Dude in window with her eyes....waiting, waiting, cannot lose it, kids are in the car, must.be.strong...Dude comes back with Caramel Iced Coffee...Take BIG drink....wave hands in excitement...it's a beautiful Saturday morning once again.
A not so morning person son and a "I haven't had my coffee yet" Mommy - Not much to tell on this one. My son is NOT a morning person at all. It's an avid argumentative routine getting him up every morning. Seriously, if I want him up a certain time I have to start waking him up 30 min. earlier. Suggestions are welcome on how to change this. So typical morning...trying to wake up my child...woke up late myself, so haven't had time to input any coffee into my blood stream yet....Son is still not awake and now has blanket pulled over his head. Though I wish I could do the same thing, I can't and neither can he...another attempt to wake him up. (waiting waiting waiting, no response.)....Crawl on to my son's bed, get up next to his ear and whisper "IF you do not get up out of this bed, I will be forced to replace your covers with a buck full of ice water."....Son does not flinch, instead, opens one eye and says, ever so sweetly. "Mom, talk to me after you've had your coffee."....Smart kid, why didn't I think of that!
It's no secret, I loves me some coffee!! I'd say my addiction started somewhere my senior year of high school, if not then definitely college. Who knew that ingesting copious amounts of coffee while cramming for exams and pulling all night study sessions would be preparing me for that wonderful thing called Motherhood? Little did I know that those days would eventually look like a trip to the Hershey Chocolate Park compared to what was to come later in life.
There are many many stories regarding me and my...ummm...state of mind (or lack there of) when I don't have my coffee. Seriously, if I could just tap an IV of the stuff each morning believe me, I would!! (you think I'm kidding) For whatever reason (chalk it up to too much coffee), I thought I'd share a few of my embarrassing moments where my close freind coffee was concerned.
Surely there has to be a few more Mom's out there like me (I know my sister 'n law is almost there!)
Tennesse + NASCAR fans + No coffee = OMG TAKE COVER - I'm sure the title alone would make anyone feel that way but for this admitted coffeeaholic, it literally sent signals to my brain that said "note to self - blow tennessee off the map but leave Starbucks standing." Quick version - loooong trip to see a NASCAR race with my sister, nooooo sleep, early wake up time to get to the track, and people driving like they already had their coffee and...oh yeah, I haven't had mine. Absolute required stop to Starbucks is in need, if we could ever freakin' get there. By this time, my knuckles are white from gripping the steering whell, my face is red, and I believe my sister is holding her breath in fear of having her head bit off. Ahhhhh - finally, Starbucks parking lot. OOOOH LOOK - a close parking spot, someone is pulling out. Wait. Why is this idiot sitting half pulled out and half pulled in of the parking spot? (counting to 10 in my head....now laying my hand on the car horn...now pressing on the car horn, not letting up...Sister is now sticking her head out the window yelling at the car to "Please for the love of God pull out, the woman needs her coffee."...Yaaay, that works) Sigh - ahhhh, sweet sweet Starbucks. Tennessee thanks you for saving it.
Broken coffee pot after night of caring for a sick child (oh yeah, my sister trying to talk to me) - We've all been there. Nothing worse than being up all night with you child who has the pukies (my kid is a award winning puker btw.) Nothing worse than seeing your child sick and knowing there isn't much you can do when they're like this. Well, maybe a broken coffee pot after an all-nighter (told you it'd come back up) puking session comes in a close 2nd. As my child begins to get some rest, the sun is coming up and shining straight through my bedroom window ignoring the blinds that are intended to keep it out. What could make ME feel better (besides sleep?)...a nice hot fresh cup of coffee...stumble to kitchen, prepare coffee pot, open coffee can...take a big wiff, a little jump start action ya know?....stand at kitchen counter waiting for coffee to brew....brews two cups and stops...hmmm....turn off and turn back on....in walks my sister...Sister begins chatting about her night at work (she worked 2nd shift)....Sister still talking, coffee not brewing....Grab WHOLE coffee making machine with both hands and begin to shake viciously....Sister has now walked out of the kitchen to her room and shut the door...get myself dressed....check on child (still sleeping)....Open my sister's bedroom door, inform her I'm going to Walmart to buy a new coffee pot...Sister encourages trip with a little too much enthusiasm...go to store, buy new coffee pot, repeat first few steps at home...drink fresh coffee...Ahhhhhh, NOW (to my sister) what were you saying?
Craving for a Caramel Iced Coffee NOT a stinkin' Frappe - Saturday summer morning, heading to Step-Mom's work for some long over due scrapbooking. Sister and nephew are going to pick myself and my son up. I'm having a craving for a caramel iced coffee from McDonald's. Now it's all I can think about...mmmm. Convince sister to drive me through McD's to cure craving. Having experienced my coffee fits in the past she more than graciously agrees. Go through drive-thru...tell sister what I want....she starts it and says "Wait, what?"...repeat to sister, in a more serious tone, what I want....CARAMEL. ICED. COFFEE!...Sister repeats order, so does the person inside the box...pull up to window....person in window hands a FRAPPE'...Sister tells person in window we didn't order a Frappe' we ordered an Iced coffee...person still standing in window holding stupid Frappe'....beginning to get irritated (or need a fix of coffee, you pick one.)...can't take it anymore...lean over sister and say to Dude in window "WHY are you still standing there?"...Dude in window now looks a little scared...Sister is pleading with Dude in window with her eyes....waiting, waiting, cannot lose it, kids are in the car, must.be.strong...Dude comes back with Caramel Iced Coffee...Take BIG drink....wave hands in excitement...it's a beautiful Saturday morning once again.
A not so morning person son and a "I haven't had my coffee yet" Mommy - Not much to tell on this one. My son is NOT a morning person at all. It's an avid argumentative routine getting him up every morning. Seriously, if I want him up a certain time I have to start waking him up 30 min. earlier. Suggestions are welcome on how to change this. So typical morning...trying to wake up my child...woke up late myself, so haven't had time to input any coffee into my blood stream yet....Son is still not awake and now has blanket pulled over his head. Though I wish I could do the same thing, I can't and neither can he...another attempt to wake him up. (waiting waiting waiting, no response.)....Crawl on to my son's bed, get up next to his ear and whisper "IF you do not get up out of this bed, I will be forced to replace your covers with a buck full of ice water."....Son does not flinch, instead, opens one eye and says, ever so sweetly. "Mom, talk to me after you've had your coffee."....Smart kid, why didn't I think of that!
I did not protect the people in these stories because let's face it, the bad stuff was all about me! You'll all be happy to know that my sister has survived all these instances but has recently stated she is sick of being stuck either in a car or in a room with me during my coffee withdraws. I still love her!!
Oh Coffee, what would I do without you're amazing ability to keep me in complete functioning mode? I know my son thanks you with his whole 6 year old being.
Monday, April 19, 2010
If anyone had told me....
So it's been quite a while since my last post. If anyone had told me years ago how busy your life becomes once you become not just a Mommy, but a Mommy of an extremely active child...I probably would have laughed at them thinking they were doing crazy talk.
My son is a busy kid by nature, loves to constantly be going, despises sitting with nothing to do. I'm quite the opposite. Though I love to go and do things, I totally enjoy my days of just "chillin" and relaxing. Joshua played his 1st year of Basketball this past winter and loved it. We are now into the season of his absolute favorite sport, Baseball. This will be mark the first year, however; that he will be playing three sports: Baseball, Football, and Basketball. I really don't know how Mommy's out there do this with more than one child. Though I'm sure most have the help of the other parent (hopefully you do!). I love every minute of my active child (remind me of this when I'm screaming how exhausted I am).
As you know, Joshua started Kindergarten this year (He's a late birthday kid). It has been an incredible joy to sit back and watch my child flourish intellectually and of course socially (he is MY son after all). Though I already see "red flags" waving at me now, like how...SOMEHOW...he ALWAYS seems to make friends who are older than him. It floors me!! I've picked him up from school a few times and he'll be out front talking with a few of the other "guys" and its apparent they are NOT in Kindergarten. As he gets in the car, one of the boys hollars out "See ya later J-dawg" Really??? He's already a J-dawg?? When I asked who that was, he replied "Oh, that's my friend Jake, he's in 2nd grade!" Oh Lordy help me now!!!
On a personal note, the love life is still slow, but I'm ok with that. About a week after my last post, I came in contact with an old flame/friend. Funny thing is, I dated this guy my Junior year AFTER I broke up with the other gentleman I was telling you about. Sometimes I feel like I'm on "recycle" for my life. Oh well! Anyway, he has been a TREMENDOUS attribute to my life at a perfect time that I needed it. I'm TOTALLY enjoying the friendship and I've never laughed so hard...WELL, except when I'm with my friend Kelly! Ahhh Kel - LOL - Kelly and I became friends years ago when we both were servers at a restaurant. Naturally, as most friends do, we lost touch for a few years, and through the wonderful world of the internet, came back in contact. Her husband is a Triple A ball player so her life was constantly on the go. This is the first year that they've settled in one place for their girls to be able to be active in school activities and etc. I'm all supportive for that decision, but it's completely selfish as to why. This has given me tons of time to spend with her and her girls!! There is nothing I love more in life than to laugh and there is always plenty of that when we're together. Again, another person who has entered my life at just the perfect time.
I'm learning that even though there are events in life that can make me want to crawl under a rock and stay there, God always positions people or events in my life that remind me, I am strong, that He never gives me more than I can handle, that He has so much planned for my life STILL, and that I have been given and trusted with an extremely special gift. My son!
Til next time!
My son is a busy kid by nature, loves to constantly be going, despises sitting with nothing to do. I'm quite the opposite. Though I love to go and do things, I totally enjoy my days of just "chillin" and relaxing. Joshua played his 1st year of Basketball this past winter and loved it. We are now into the season of his absolute favorite sport, Baseball. This will be mark the first year, however; that he will be playing three sports: Baseball, Football, and Basketball. I really don't know how Mommy's out there do this with more than one child. Though I'm sure most have the help of the other parent (hopefully you do!). I love every minute of my active child (remind me of this when I'm screaming how exhausted I am).
As you know, Joshua started Kindergarten this year (He's a late birthday kid). It has been an incredible joy to sit back and watch my child flourish intellectually and of course socially (he is MY son after all). Though I already see "red flags" waving at me now, like how...SOMEHOW...he ALWAYS seems to make friends who are older than him. It floors me!! I've picked him up from school a few times and he'll be out front talking with a few of the other "guys" and its apparent they are NOT in Kindergarten. As he gets in the car, one of the boys hollars out "See ya later J-dawg" Really??? He's already a J-dawg?? When I asked who that was, he replied "Oh, that's my friend Jake, he's in 2nd grade!" Oh Lordy help me now!!!
On a personal note, the love life is still slow, but I'm ok with that. About a week after my last post, I came in contact with an old flame/friend. Funny thing is, I dated this guy my Junior year AFTER I broke up with the other gentleman I was telling you about. Sometimes I feel like I'm on "recycle" for my life. Oh well! Anyway, he has been a TREMENDOUS attribute to my life at a perfect time that I needed it. I'm TOTALLY enjoying the friendship and I've never laughed so hard...WELL, except when I'm with my friend Kelly! Ahhh Kel - LOL - Kelly and I became friends years ago when we both were servers at a restaurant. Naturally, as most friends do, we lost touch for a few years, and through the wonderful world of the internet, came back in contact. Her husband is a Triple A ball player so her life was constantly on the go. This is the first year that they've settled in one place for their girls to be able to be active in school activities and etc. I'm all supportive for that decision, but it's completely selfish as to why. This has given me tons of time to spend with her and her girls!! There is nothing I love more in life than to laugh and there is always plenty of that when we're together. Again, another person who has entered my life at just the perfect time.
I'm learning that even though there are events in life that can make me want to crawl under a rock and stay there, God always positions people or events in my life that remind me, I am strong, that He never gives me more than I can handle, that He has so much planned for my life STILL, and that I have been given and trusted with an extremely special gift. My son!
Til next time!
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
New Beginnings and Old Endings.
I must give you all a fair warning...this blog definitely won't be as light hearted and funny as the other two have been. But that's the point of this right? To show all angles of my life as a single mom.....and let's face it, blogging out thoughts is kind of theraputic (so they say).
Well, my baby boy lost his first tooth this weekend while we were at the pool. Thank goodness it didn't fall into the pool! Nope, we were in the pool...I was tossing him around....he came up out of the water, and his little tooth was pretty much sticking straight out at me. I had no clue the impact of water would do that! LOL! So off to the bathroom we went where a one squemish mom (that'd be me) geared herself up to just yank the tooth the rest the way out. My son didn't even know I had done it until I showed him his tooth...such a big boy.
You know it's funny, here my son is about to start Kindergarten in a couple weeks and I have yet to tear up about that. But he loses his first tooth and I couldn't help but stare at him and get a little misty eyed. Maybe it's the fact the "adult" tooth coming in makes me realize how fast time really does go. Before I know it, he'll be going to Junior High, then High School, getting his license, off to college, getting married (lord help me). He's always been a very independent child, which I love about him, but I want to freeze time....I don't want him to get any bigger. Geesh, he's already only 1ft and 3in. shorter than me...and he's only 5!! (Mind you I'm not THAT tall...but still).....so this experience was my new beginning for the week. My son is growing up, he's getting his adult teeth, starting school, and shaping himself to be an incredible young man in front of my eyes.
Also this week (just yesterday) an ending came to pass.....I've had a "friend" in my life the past couple years that has meant the world to me. He's someone I actually met when I was 14 yrs old. Our paths crossed again about 2 years ago. He was going through a life changing situation, and I was there to help him through it, emotionally and spiritually. Through that "friendship" developed a little more...it was great, wonderful, everything I always knew was out there. But as his situation grew more intense, he pulled away....it was hard, but I understood just due to the nature of what was going on. We stayed friends, and sometimes it still seemed more than....lots of ups and downs and me being confused waaaay too much. His words were consistent...I'm not ready for expectations from anyone right now...but sometimes his actions would contridict. I don't know about you...but I'm big on actions speaking louder than words. After speaking with him the other day, he informed me that he was going on a "date" with someone and would see how it goes. I felt like I jumped into a pool filled with ice cubes....my chest hurt and i couldn't breathe. How is it someone who isn't ready for "expectations" from someone is able to go on a date and "see how it goes?" Simple.....it wasn't they weren't ready for expectations, they didn't want YOU. So even though I knew, deep down inside this may happen...when it actually did...it hurt...plain and simple. This isn't the first time he's pushed me aside for someone else....See, when I met him at 14yrs old...I also dated him for 2 yrs during that time. After 2 yrs of dating, he broke up with me for another girl....whom he ended up marrying. I can't help but ask myself, how can ONE person enter your life twice....and still dump you twice for someone else? What's the old saying...Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me? I guess reality is, he just never had the same feelings for me that I always did him (now and years ago.) It does confuse me how a man can say certain things to a girl and then flip around like someone hit the light switch...and never provide a real explaination...at least not one that makes logical sense or eases your heart. Nope, all you get is "Don't be hurt at me, I don't want to hurt anyone." My suggestion back is this.....THINK before you tell a woman she is the one God has for you, how you can't live without her, how you have plans for your future with her. I don't know how you men work...but a gal takes those things very seriously...we don't say them to just be in the moment. Why? Because we realize the outcome of saying such things and not fully meaning them would be lying, deceiving, and hurt a person beyond all measures.
The crazy thing, I wish the man happiness....I hope he finds someone, even if it isn't me. What can I say, I love him. I'm not one who deals well with being hurt or feeling rejected. This blog is probably the most emotion I've shown of this recent development to friends or family. I prefer to not talk about it so I can just get over it and move on. I'll deal with the pain, I'll let the wound heal, and hang on to my faith that God has someone perfect out there just for me. Fact is, I don't want someone that isn't God choosen for my life.
So new beginnings are taking place where my son is concerned......and an old path with an old love comes to an end. I'll be sure to change my shoes before treading on a new path...I think these are extremely worn out.
Take Care!
Well, my baby boy lost his first tooth this weekend while we were at the pool. Thank goodness it didn't fall into the pool! Nope, we were in the pool...I was tossing him around....he came up out of the water, and his little tooth was pretty much sticking straight out at me. I had no clue the impact of water would do that! LOL! So off to the bathroom we went where a one squemish mom (that'd be me) geared herself up to just yank the tooth the rest the way out. My son didn't even know I had done it until I showed him his tooth...such a big boy.
You know it's funny, here my son is about to start Kindergarten in a couple weeks and I have yet to tear up about that. But he loses his first tooth and I couldn't help but stare at him and get a little misty eyed. Maybe it's the fact the "adult" tooth coming in makes me realize how fast time really does go. Before I know it, he'll be going to Junior High, then High School, getting his license, off to college, getting married (lord help me). He's always been a very independent child, which I love about him, but I want to freeze time....I don't want him to get any bigger. Geesh, he's already only 1ft and 3in. shorter than me...and he's only 5!! (Mind you I'm not THAT tall...but still).....so this experience was my new beginning for the week. My son is growing up, he's getting his adult teeth, starting school, and shaping himself to be an incredible young man in front of my eyes.
Also this week (just yesterday) an ending came to pass.....I've had a "friend" in my life the past couple years that has meant the world to me. He's someone I actually met when I was 14 yrs old. Our paths crossed again about 2 years ago. He was going through a life changing situation, and I was there to help him through it, emotionally and spiritually. Through that "friendship" developed a little more...it was great, wonderful, everything I always knew was out there. But as his situation grew more intense, he pulled away....it was hard, but I understood just due to the nature of what was going on. We stayed friends, and sometimes it still seemed more than....lots of ups and downs and me being confused waaaay too much. His words were consistent...I'm not ready for expectations from anyone right now...but sometimes his actions would contridict. I don't know about you...but I'm big on actions speaking louder than words. After speaking with him the other day, he informed me that he was going on a "date" with someone and would see how it goes. I felt like I jumped into a pool filled with ice cubes....my chest hurt and i couldn't breathe. How is it someone who isn't ready for "expectations" from someone is able to go on a date and "see how it goes?" Simple.....it wasn't they weren't ready for expectations, they didn't want YOU. So even though I knew, deep down inside this may happen...when it actually did...it hurt...plain and simple. This isn't the first time he's pushed me aside for someone else....See, when I met him at 14yrs old...I also dated him for 2 yrs during that time. After 2 yrs of dating, he broke up with me for another girl....whom he ended up marrying. I can't help but ask myself, how can ONE person enter your life twice....and still dump you twice for someone else? What's the old saying...Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me? I guess reality is, he just never had the same feelings for me that I always did him (now and years ago.) It does confuse me how a man can say certain things to a girl and then flip around like someone hit the light switch...and never provide a real explaination...at least not one that makes logical sense or eases your heart. Nope, all you get is "Don't be hurt at me, I don't want to hurt anyone." My suggestion back is this.....THINK before you tell a woman she is the one God has for you, how you can't live without her, how you have plans for your future with her. I don't know how you men work...but a gal takes those things very seriously...we don't say them to just be in the moment. Why? Because we realize the outcome of saying such things and not fully meaning them would be lying, deceiving, and hurt a person beyond all measures.
The crazy thing, I wish the man happiness....I hope he finds someone, even if it isn't me. What can I say, I love him. I'm not one who deals well with being hurt or feeling rejected. This blog is probably the most emotion I've shown of this recent development to friends or family. I prefer to not talk about it so I can just get over it and move on. I'll deal with the pain, I'll let the wound heal, and hang on to my faith that God has someone perfect out there just for me. Fact is, I don't want someone that isn't God choosen for my life.
So new beginnings are taking place where my son is concerned......and an old path with an old love comes to an end. I'll be sure to change my shoes before treading on a new path...I think these are extremely worn out.
Take Care!
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Dating....and Single Motherhood
We all know dating is hard enough, but add being a single parent into the equation and you'll feel like you're back in school staring at the worse possible Trigonometry formula on the black board.
Finding time for yourself is hard enough, finding time to meet someone, let alone date is almost next to impossible. What seems hard to me, is not the fact that I'm single and currently not in a relationship, it's how people seem to view you for being in your 30's, single and never having married. Goodness, when your own brother calls you a spinster, and you're own Father makes the statement you'll never get married, you're bound to feel a little down on yourself.
So you begin to analyze yourself a little more, which isn't always a bad thing. I realized my habit was may be being a little too critical, too analytical, and may be even a tad too picky. I mean, when I decide to dismiss a guy because his shoes don't match his outfit, I think it's time I bend a little
With that in mind, I took the big leap....I agreed to meet a guy, a friend of mine knew. LOL. Her knowing how picky I am about guys, she decided to tell me all the downfalls of him she knew first (she's a smart girl.). Then we decided it would be best if I check him out myself first instead of the "blind date" saga. So the plan was set in motion....they all bowl on a league together, I was to pick up her daughter from soccer practice and meet them at the bowling alley. Sounds innocent enough right? Riiiiight!!
I walk in, spot her....give her the look of "which one is he?", she does the sly spy nod his direction, I turn, I look.....ummm...not my type BUT I'm trying to bend a little right?? You can't dismiss someone right away without at least giving them the shot of talking with them. Personality can always trump looks in my book....a guy can be good looking, but you don't want a bore to hang with. While my friend is bowling, I decide to take another quick glimpse at the prospect. In doing so...I see his finger hit his nose, ok...it went IN his nose. I quickly turn my head because I figure he's embarassing himself bad enough, he didn't need to see someone catching him do this. But it's like a bad train wreck, you just can't turn away very long...so just as quick as I turned my head, I turned back his direction. To my utter dismay, his finger went from his nose into his mouth!! OH......MY.....GOSH.....I should have ran then, I should have went with my instinct, grabbed my purse and ran!!! I quickly told my friend what I saw and she was in just as much shock as I was. Oh yes, of course we were laughing....it's still an inside joke between us. My 5 year old doesn't even do that for goodness sake.
Let's just say for some idiotic reason, I decided to stay and still talk with this guy. Why oh why?? The conversation took a turn for the worst as he began to make extremely crude comments about himself, body parts, and my Uncle's business (whom this guy knew). Need the less to say, my friend and her husband were just as shocked as I was. The comment was made he's never acted like that, they were very disappointed and more than apologetic....they're very lucky I love them as much as I do. LOL. I left that crazy scene, got in my car....replayed it all...and couldn't stop laughing!!!! I thought this was stuff you hear about in movies or T.V. shows, I didn't think this was possible in real life. Unbelieveable!!
So note to self....go back to being picky, go back to trusting my inner compass, God gave me that for a reason. If all else fails, at least I can keep myself from having to endure another scenerio like that. Yep, this one goes in the books....or the blog in this case!!
Finding time for yourself is hard enough, finding time to meet someone, let alone date is almost next to impossible. What seems hard to me, is not the fact that I'm single and currently not in a relationship, it's how people seem to view you for being in your 30's, single and never having married. Goodness, when your own brother calls you a spinster, and you're own Father makes the statement you'll never get married, you're bound to feel a little down on yourself.
So you begin to analyze yourself a little more, which isn't always a bad thing. I realized my habit was may be being a little too critical, too analytical, and may be even a tad too picky. I mean, when I decide to dismiss a guy because his shoes don't match his outfit, I think it's time I bend a little
With that in mind, I took the big leap....I agreed to meet a guy, a friend of mine knew. LOL. Her knowing how picky I am about guys, she decided to tell me all the downfalls of him she knew first (she's a smart girl.). Then we decided it would be best if I check him out myself first instead of the "blind date" saga. So the plan was set in motion....they all bowl on a league together, I was to pick up her daughter from soccer practice and meet them at the bowling alley. Sounds innocent enough right? Riiiiight!!
I walk in, spot her....give her the look of "which one is he?", she does the sly spy nod his direction, I turn, I look.....ummm...not my type BUT I'm trying to bend a little right?? You can't dismiss someone right away without at least giving them the shot of talking with them. Personality can always trump looks in my book....a guy can be good looking, but you don't want a bore to hang with. While my friend is bowling, I decide to take another quick glimpse at the prospect. In doing so...I see his finger hit his nose, ok...it went IN his nose. I quickly turn my head because I figure he's embarassing himself bad enough, he didn't need to see someone catching him do this. But it's like a bad train wreck, you just can't turn away very long...so just as quick as I turned my head, I turned back his direction. To my utter dismay, his finger went from his nose into his mouth!! OH......MY.....GOSH.....I should have ran then, I should have went with my instinct, grabbed my purse and ran!!! I quickly told my friend what I saw and she was in just as much shock as I was. Oh yes, of course we were laughing....it's still an inside joke between us. My 5 year old doesn't even do that for goodness sake.
Let's just say for some idiotic reason, I decided to stay and still talk with this guy. Why oh why?? The conversation took a turn for the worst as he began to make extremely crude comments about himself, body parts, and my Uncle's business (whom this guy knew). Need the less to say, my friend and her husband were just as shocked as I was. The comment was made he's never acted like that, they were very disappointed and more than apologetic....they're very lucky I love them as much as I do. LOL. I left that crazy scene, got in my car....replayed it all...and couldn't stop laughing!!!! I thought this was stuff you hear about in movies or T.V. shows, I didn't think this was possible in real life. Unbelieveable!!
So note to self....go back to being picky, go back to trusting my inner compass, God gave me that for a reason. If all else fails, at least I can keep myself from having to endure another scenerio like that. Yep, this one goes in the books....or the blog in this case!!
Friday, July 17, 2009
Grandparents....who are these people
Joshua was the first grandchild for both my Mom and my Dad (my parents aren't together).
I remember when I was younger hearing Bill Cosby's stand up and talking about his parents once they've become grandparents. He contrasts his Father's open handed generosity vs. how tight fisted he was during Bill's childhood. Then he says of his children's Grandma "That is not the same woman I grew up with." MY LORD ABOVE it's true!!! Who are these people and what did they do with my parents??? Seriously!
I remember when I was pregnant my Mom's closest friend telling her "Oh, there is nothing like being a grandparent. It's the greatest joy in the world...there is nothing like it." Of course, it's the greatest thing in the world because they get to give the kid back!! I heard a joke once, that Grandkids are God's reward for not killing your own kids. LOL.
I watch my parents with Joshua, and I think to myself they should be wearing a t-shirt that says "World's Greatest Grandma/Grandpa." These people are a FAR CRY from the parents I had growing up. What is it that changes them once they become Grandparents? For my Dad....I think it's the entertainment of watching his grandkids put his kids through the same things we put him through. I think this mainly applies to my brother, because Lord knows myself and my younger sister NEVER put our Dad through anything (hahahahahaha). But my Mom....This woman....I'm telling you now. She was tough growing up, I knew No meant No, I knew to not double cross her, and I knew she meant business. This same woman is now MUSH when it comes to a certain 5 year old blinking his blue eyes her way. Don't kid yourself...that blue eyed boy knows it too!!
I may not understand why my parents are so different as grandparents than they were as parents....but I do understand is that I have one extremely lucky boy who has a Grandma, Paw-Paw and Mom-maw who love him with all they have. With that reason only...I can accept the change. (hahahaha)
I remember when I was younger hearing Bill Cosby's stand up and talking about his parents once they've become grandparents. He contrasts his Father's open handed generosity vs. how tight fisted he was during Bill's childhood. Then he says of his children's Grandma "That is not the same woman I grew up with." MY LORD ABOVE it's true!!! Who are these people and what did they do with my parents??? Seriously!
I remember when I was pregnant my Mom's closest friend telling her "Oh, there is nothing like being a grandparent. It's the greatest joy in the world...there is nothing like it." Of course, it's the greatest thing in the world because they get to give the kid back!! I heard a joke once, that Grandkids are God's reward for not killing your own kids. LOL.
I watch my parents with Joshua, and I think to myself they should be wearing a t-shirt that says "World's Greatest Grandma/Grandpa." These people are a FAR CRY from the parents I had growing up. What is it that changes them once they become Grandparents? For my Dad....I think it's the entertainment of watching his grandkids put his kids through the same things we put him through. I think this mainly applies to my brother, because Lord knows myself and my younger sister NEVER put our Dad through anything (hahahahahaha). But my Mom....This woman....I'm telling you now. She was tough growing up, I knew No meant No, I knew to not double cross her, and I knew she meant business. This same woman is now MUSH when it comes to a certain 5 year old blinking his blue eyes her way. Don't kid yourself...that blue eyed boy knows it too!!
I may not understand why my parents are so different as grandparents than they were as parents....but I do understand is that I have one extremely lucky boy who has a Grandma, Paw-Paw and Mom-maw who love him with all they have. With that reason only...I can accept the change. (hahahaha)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)